Shopper or Returner?

So I have come to determine that there are two types of people that shop in department stores. Both have their patterns and strategy for shopping. Don't get me wrong...the fact that someone has a "strategy" for shopping literally drives me up a wall every day. The "strategy" for shopping should be as follows:

"I need some pants."

*Buys pants*

End of Strategy.

and don't try to tell me that you need to check the sizes and colors...they are pants...if you don't envision what you need right off the bat, it is not time for new pants. 

Side note: If you don't know your dress shirt size, you aren't going to get a job for the interview anyway...give it up. If you are going to prom and you don't know your dress shirt size, the date you are with probably doesn't understand a button up anyway.

Customer Type #1- The Shopper
The shopper is considered the "Coupon" Lady when she shops at the grocery store. She is in it to win it and will not stop until she finds exactly what she wants at the price she wants it at.  Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but couple the extensive shopper with generally sloppiness and disregard for other people and their surroundings; and you get a one of the most obnoxious people you could meet. This is the person that will stand right next to an associate and open up a package of undershirts, lay them all out, decide on a size, then purchase AN UNOPENED PACKAGE. You can always follow the shopper by looking for broken hang tags, hangars on the floor, and a swath of unrecovered merchandise in their wake.

"I just needed to see how different the patterns were in different sizes"

Customer Type #2- The Returner

Now this customer is in a hurry. She wants about a hundred items from her list, but she will be bothered to know the sizes or styles of any of these items she is purchasing. She will not make a huge mess (at least initially) in her FRENZY to get in and out of the store, normally on her 15 minute break. However, this customer then returns 95% of the items she had purchased. There are distinct and horrendous levels of the disruption that this cases. If someone returns 20 items on hangars within a few days of purchases them with the tags attached...you are awesome...do whatever the hell you want because you are my new favorite person. HOWEVER, this never seems to happen. It is always in a pile, no hangars, tags all mixed up, no receipt, and she will aggressively inform you that she doesn't have time to wait around because she is on her lunch break. Let me explain how long a single item takes to process in this status.

1. We unfurl the item (again, its in a ball) and we check for tags.
2. No tags? Great, we will check inside the shirt for a sewn in tag (about 80% of our brands will have these).
3. If it is a third party national brand (like Levi's) we have to look up the item from another size, another style, or looking on the website to find a SKU.
4. If not, we return it using those numbers.
5. We continue to process other customers when done.
6. If we get a chance to breathe between customers, we pull out your item for processing.
7. The item needs to reticketed using standard attach-it guns and reprinted tickets
8. If the item is clearance, you need to use a separate piece of equipment to mark it as such.
9. If the item was an exclusive online item you are returning in store, it must be ran through an entirely separate program to process the price down and/or defect the item out of the store.
10. The item needs to be hung up, sized on the correct hangars, and sorted by department and grouping to go back to the floor.
11. An associate (that is the same one associate for the entire pad in charge of maintaining the fitting rooms and merchandise standards) has to then put said item away.

Not that big of a deal, right? But then multiply that by the throngs of people pouring through the line with the two associates working (on a good day) back there.

Don't make eye contact with them...they deserve their fate

So next time you want to bring home the medium, large, and extra large because you haven't looked at your children in a few months, think about maybe getting a growth chart...or forcing them to actually try on the clothes.

Your kid hates you...so make them come with you to try on clothes.

Until next time,

-Milly